Our first company casualties today. First, nobody was killed. All four are stable; two are already returned to duty, a little worse for wear, and two are still under the knife but will be fine. Second, none from Blue Platoon. Red Platoon took the hit today and took it bad. A grenade attack hit their leadership while they were dismounted. Their platoon sergeant, a section sergeant, and a squad leader were hit. The fourth was, most unfortunately, their medic. So Red took the hit and immediately jumped to CASEVAC.
The elections were surprisingly calm. Nothing serious happened in our sector; my platoon only had to deal with one IED. White Platoon had a good dozen in their sector, but they were able to find practically all of them. The remaining detonations wounded some local nationals and National Police, but no Coalition casualties. The following day was completely quiet. In fact, everything was very calm until the Incident.
The Incident is a tragedy which probably has reached the news. You’ve probably read about it before I post this. One of our other companies took some small arms fire, had one soldier wounded, and rushed to get him to the medical unit. They put him in a Bradley. Traffic was congested, going was slow, and I can imagine in my mind the decision that their platoon leader made. He’s dying, we can’t wait, we have to push through. So they pushed through. And crushed a car with the Bradley, killing a father and son that they trapped beneath. Then, for the first time since we arrived, Coalition Forces were fair game. Every insurgent in the city was on us. Suicide vests, bombs, a dozen grenade attacks, small arms fire, you name it. We were being hit everywhere. Blue Platoon was far enough away from the incident that it didn’t directly affect us. The Incident did occur on the border of our battle space, but more in Red Platoon’s side, so they went out to check it out and try to smooth over the disaster. So they got hit. I sat in the headquarters beside 1LT Freddy, both of us in full gear and ready to go in an instant, mesmerized by the situation and waiting with sick anticipation for orders to roll out. Our guys were hit. All we knew at the time was that four of ours were wounded. We were hungry for blood. Things were going to hell, and we wanted to get out there and let them know that we weren’t going to back down. But higher headquarters vacillated, titillated, ruminated, cross-coordinated, un-coordinated, re-coordinated, and then vacillated again for a good two hours. When I finally got clearance to move my platoon into the sector, we got called back a mere ten minutes later. The battalion commander had decided that he didn’t want to further agitate the local populace with our presence.
This puts me in a situation. Part of me, however small, sympathizes a bit with our enemy today. What happened was a terrible tragedy. And yes, further Coalition presence (especially as we were ordered to roll out with Bradleys) would have possibly sent the wrong message. We’re in a business where stupid decisions cost lives on a regular basis, but it is especially tragic when the lives lost are those of innocents. On the other hand, we left the field in the hands of the enemy tonight. Coalition Forces were hit… and did not respond. In fact, we withdrew. We abandoned the field to the enemy. To hell with that. Tomorrow morning they’ll wake up, see that we still haven’t responded, and realize that they can strike with impunity. That enough grenades will actually force us into inactivity. That all they have to do is coordinate, hit hard, and watch us flee. To hell with that. Coalition Forces were hit, Coalition Forces should respond. We should be in there, in their neighborhoods right now, grenades be damned, making it clear that we are not to be trifled with. We’re soldiers. We should not be gun shy. We cannot afford to be gun shy. We need to let all of them know that, although the tragedy was deeply regrettable, we WILL accomplish the mission. And if the people of the neighborhoods do not assist us in securing themselves, if they provide shelter and support to the enemy, we’ll be back the next day. And the next. We will be in their streets, ready to fight, until we finish our job. If they can’t help us secure the neighborhood in a way that is amenable to them, we’ll secure them in whatever way we have to. Like it or not, your streets will be peaceful. Our way or yours. You pick.
Part of me recognizes the wisdom in the battalion commander’s decision, but part of me thinks that this will only hurt us in the long term. Part of me wants to go smooth things over with the local populace, but part of me wants blood. I’m torn. Regardless, I should have been ordered one way or the other IMMEDIATELY. That should not have been a hard decision. We can’t spend two hours debating the points while the enemy runs rampant. Blue and White Platoons should have been there, at the exact site where Red was hit, within minutes. We would have locked that place down. Maybe even saved a few lives out there tonight. Tomorrow I’ll have to roll out and eat a large helping of humble pie in front of my Iraqi National Police partners, thanks to what happened today, and we’ll have nothing to stand on. We killed two innocent people (whoops) for questionable reasons (we look out for our own, you look out for incoming treads on your hood), took some serious punishment, and turned tail back to the FOB.
I’m increasingly bitter since I wrote the last paragraph, since five hours have passed and I’m on QRF again. Out of rotation. By some fluke or (hopefully not) conscious decision from our leadership, Blue has now been on QRF for something like five of the last eight days. This means sleep is minimal and patrols are frequent. But this is not the problem that makes me angry. No, I’m angry because my platoon leadership is being downright petulant about it. Like spoiled kids. For the love of God, we are AT WAR. The platoon who was supposed to have QRF had all of their leadership blown up today. Should we go grab them from the ER and put them on guard, guys? Maybe that would be more equitable, right? SHUT UP. This is not about you. This is not about fair. This is about what WORKS. Right now, we can work. Man up. Just do it. If we’re all doing it, if I’m doing it, I don’t want to hear anybody complain about it. Or pout. Or “forget” to relieve me on QRF guard after four hours because they didn’t want to do it. Fine. You know what? I’ll just do it all tonight. I’ll do it all every night. Not to shame you, because I know SSG Crunchberry and SSG Chase will just throw a party that they don’t have to pull shifts anymore. I’m going do it because it needs to be done. And I cannot abide by that kind of childlike petulance. Here’s the catch, guys: you still have to follow my orders out there. So on day three, when I’m starting to see magical leprechauns frolicking on the major routes, you’re going to have to dismount on my command and try to detain them. Think about it for a minute. Just ponder the consequences. And I will rip the spleen out of the next one of you who asks for a day off. I. WILL. RIP. OUT. YOUR. SPLEEN. Do we understand each other? Do we?
Men bled out there today, and I’ve got NCOs complaining that our platoon spends a disproportionate amount of time on QRF. This is not the breaking point. You are not falling apart. You do not have shrapnel wounds all over your body. You do not have a bullet in you. When the company asks you to cover down on your buddies, you jump to it. Because you are in the ARMY, damn it, and that is WHAT YOU DO. I do not care that we don’t sleep enough. I do not care that you haven’t had a day off in the last two weeks. I won’t have a day off all year, you clowns, and you aren’t allowed to break until I do. Deal with it. And for the love of God, DO NOT COMPLAIN TO THE MEN. You are their leaders. The soldiers of Blue have been real troopers through all of this; tonight, they were racked out, happily asleep, when we had to rouse them from their beds and send them back out to the line. And they jumped to it. If they complained, they at least had the presence of mind not to do it in front of me. And they at least waited until after we had prepared everything and staged ourselves. That kind of motivation and tenacity deserves the best out of its leadership, and right now they’re getting childish petulance. It’s sad to watch. No, it’s infuriating to watch. As platoon leader I don’t do the screaming thing. SSG Lark is more than happy to do all the screaming for me. I try to mentor, foster, develop, and guide people in the right direction. And I’ve had a few isolated guiding discussions with some of the leadership about this, but quite frankly, I don’t think they’re getting it. My primary screamer is also acting badly so I can’t look to him tonight. If this madness does not resolve itself in a moment, I will be forced into an uncharacteristic bout of righteous fury.
I’m sorry. This venue should not be where I vent my own frustrations. I want this journal to carry the story of Blue Platoon through our part in the close of this war. I want this journal to show some of the lighter moments of deployment and some of the more subtle aspects of modern war. I don’t want it to be a gigantic whining session, especially since I’m using it to rail on about whiners. It’s just that today struck home, in a way, and I have difficulty finding anything of interest—let alone great drama—in the trivial when life and death decisions are being made all around us. I’m just a little shocked that anyone would have the audacity to complain about a little nonsense when there’s so much at stake. It’s like complaining about the trash in the HMMWVs while the IED is blowing it up. Maybe, in a way, it’s how NCOs cope with their surroundings. They’re raised to be fascinated in the smallest detail. They have to occupy their time with the minute details so I have the time to grasp the bigger picture. So, maybe, I should expect this kind of thing. Perhaps I should accept it as part of the difference between my job and theirs. Fair and equitable distribution of work is exactly what they have to think about. I, however, have to think about what the unit needs as opposed to what my leaders want. If that means we have to patrol when someone would rather sleep, so be it. If we have to dismount when someone would rather ride, we have to do it. Because it is
Anyway, we’re on communications blackout because of the casualties today, so I can’t call Hope. So I get to vent here. My apologies. But I have to get back to staring at the map and hoping things don’t explode tonight. We’ve got a mission in about five hours and I should get that planned. So, have a good night, and take a moment for the soldiers in Blue. It is they, and most certainly not their leadership (self included), that deserve any prayers or gratitude tonight. And drop an extra prayer for the guys in Red. May they recover quickly. Finally, spare a thought for the two innocent people who were killed today. There is nothing we can do or say that will alleviate the suffering of their loved ones. They’ll just be forgotten in the ever-growing tally of unfortunate victims in a place defined by tragedy and carnage. But for tonight, please remember them and pray for their family.
